@LimeyTheGreat: Went out to dinner last night & the hostess asked me "Where would you like to sit?" I replied "preferably on a seat." #accomplished
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@Jeffwni: - "I love Beyoncé... - Whatever floats your boat dude. - No, you're thinking of 'buoyancy'. - …"
@ninjadinosaur1: No, I don't want to hang out at your house. Your pot to snacks ratio is all off.
@KalvinMacleod: ME: all the King's horses and men couldn't put u back together HUMPTY DUMPTY: what now M: [opening package of bacon] I'll think of something
@iinkedZombie: Me: You have to be nice or Santa won't deliver any toys this year. 5: Me: 5: My brother lets me play with his.