@CaptainJerkwad: Went to a restaurant. The sign said "breakfast anytime." So I ordered French toast during the renaissance
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@mdob11: I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don't really understand kites or insults.
@stevevsninjas: One time I stepped on a sea urchin and I forgot all about the migraine I was having, so yeah, I'd say acupuncture is pretty effective.
@knot_eye: Dear Ad Agencies, Please stop using doorbells in your TV commercials. On behalf of dog owners everywhere, Thanks!
@notalogin: Sex is like lasagna - there's absolutely no reason for it to involve spinach in any form.