@CaptainJerkwad: Went to a restaurant. The sign said "breakfast anytime." So I ordered French toast during the renaissance
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@lildandeli0n: I'm pretty sure Kanye West is the reason why we arent allowed to retweet our own tweets.
@YesImMatt: When people's driving tweets end mid sentence, did the paramedics find their phone and hit send?
@Marlebean: Me: Sometimes you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, enfarcorate, and move on. You know what I'm saying? Friend: ...
@nanglish: I downloaded "ambient coffee shop" track. Just low talking, dish clanking, & one lady yelling "Finn. Look at mommy. FINN. You want a scone?"