@Dutch_50: Went to dinner with a recovering alcoholic vegan who just quit smoking. Everything entering or leaving my mouth was offensive #WorstDateEver
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@cambuslad: You know that pain which starts at your hip, runs down your leg, out the front door,and goes across the street to the bus stop... I've that.
@MissNaughty1801: 8y:thank you for the present grandma ....: no need.. 8y: that's what I thought too but mum said I have to
@AaronFullerton: Considering our obsessions with cats and emojis, the internet really is the new ancient Egypt.
@murrman5: [wife looking at pictures of my dead body with police] "why isn't he wearing a shirt" we believe he removed it when he challenged the coyote