@losdrogas: went to kiss a girl last night and her eyes rolled back and her head floated off her shoulders body burst into flames i am a bad kisser
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@Cryptoterra: learn just enough tap dancing just to tap dance out of the room when you win an argument
@trevso_electric: And on the second day, God created the sunset and He saw that it was good but decided it would looketh better with the Amaro filter.
@FrankCurtisB: When a lady leaves an article of clothing at my place, I do the gentlemanly thing and put it on and parade around the house looking pretty.
@EllDavey: I go in bars in a suit & tie, drink all night & write tweets down in a notebook. They're not quite sure if I'm the district manager or not.