@losdrogas: went to kiss a girl last night and her eyes rolled back and her head floated off her shoulders body burst into flames i am a bad kisser
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@Ameiam: They say money talks, but mine barely gets a chance to introduce itself before it's gone.
@AwsomeHairDay: If i had to guess, i would guess that the number one search word on Bing is Google.
@Home_Halfway: People who argue Hillary is crooked; boy have I got news for you on the rest of the government
@EdgarAllanLo: [Wendy and the Burger King having sex] King: You like this? Wendy: I'm loving it! *the Burger King stops* King: What did you just say?