@WilliamAder: Went to the car wash and asked for one of those Brazilian wax jobs everyone's been talking about.
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@tastefactory: [killer enters home in middle of night] ME: Who goes there? KILLER: Haha ME: What KILLER: Who still says "Who goes there" ME: Ok laugh it up
@Ndeshi_M: Bailiff: State your name for the court Hr: Clara Sofía Alba Constanza Guadalupe... Judge: That’s enough I want to get out of here b4 lunch!
@AndyAsAdjective: The Roomba vacuum cleaner just beat me to a piece of popcorn I dropped on the floor & this is how the war against the machines begins.