@WilliamAder: Went to the car wash and asked for one of those Brazilian wax jobs everyone's been talking about.
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@NotARatsAss: My night was going great until a neighbor flew their drone over my property. So I grabbed my shotgun and yelled, "Pull!"
@NicestHippo: In America, we decide to bomb people after a week of reflection, but have debated the legality of smoking a plant for 40 years
@jen_says_nah: If you love something set it free, if it stays its yours Go on then pizza, leave! Get outta here..... *pizza stays *happy tears