@slimmy_shady: Went to the doctor the other day, he told me I had to stop lap-dancing. I asked him why and he said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
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@msdanifernandez: *conducting job interview* And what would you say your biggest weakness is? Other than that haircut.
@Andrea__B__: I'm always just a bit disappointed when a liars pants don't actually catch on fire.
@TheGayFlash: The Pink Panther's To Do list: - To do - To do - To do, to do, to do, to do, to doooo
@TwoSapphiresBlu: That awkward laugh when they've said something innocuous, but you're thinking something incredibly dirty.