@LindaInDisguise: Went to WalMart today and still had all my kids when I got home. Next week, I'll try harder.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@QwertyJones3: Hangin with my peeps at the club. Biting their heads off, one by one. Enjoying their marshmallow deliciousness.
@michael_J_m00n: Cops said my blood alcohol level was above the legal limit which is crazy because I don't even drink blood alcohol.
@12spoopy11u: Sally sells seashells by the seashore. Her monopoly has left the seashore economy in shambles. 86% of hermit crabs are now homeless.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Wanna role play? Wife: Sure ;) Me: You be the chef/waitress and I'll be the custom..WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!