@NotThatKristi: We're adults. It's bad enough we selfie. Don't make it worse with the surprise face selfie
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@TheMichaelRock: Hell hath no fury like a white woman emailing Target after a bad shopping experience.
@TheTalkingPipe: This beautiful woman is winking at me right now. Now she's using the other eye. Oh never mind. She's falling asleep.
@Knob_ish: Please. Stop. Tweeting. Stop. Like. Stop.This.Stop. It. Stop. Looks.stop.Like.stop A stop.Telegram.stop so. Stop. Please. Stop!
@papasuncle: When your bucket of KFC starts talking about the afterlife, that is some deep fried chicken.