@sammyrhodes: “We’re going to need a bigger pocket.” - iPhone 6 Plus
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@BigBec43: There was a spider in my bathroom so I threw the cat at it. The spider is dead but the cat's pretty pissed
@noog: [aliens talking] "They call it a sel-fee" A photograph of oneself? "Sometimes several" But why? "We have one theory" Go on "They're idiots"