@sammyrhodes: “We’re going to need a bigger pocket.” - iPhone 6 Plus
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@LurkAtHomeMom: Husband: We need to cut back on spending for January. Just stick to the necessities, you know? Me: *placing an order for snow boots for the dogs* absolutely
@david8hughes: [lost in Spain] Wife: ask that man where we are Me [pretending to speak Spanish with a local]: gracias Wife: well? Me: we are in Spain
@jergarl: My 8yo blows up a balloon 37 times, then asks me to try and all I hear is "DADDY PUT YOUR MOUTH ON THIS RUBBER SACK OF MOIST WARM AIR"