@meganamram: We're in the exact point of climate change as when wile e. coyote runs off the cliff but hasn't looked down yet
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@generaldietz: Spiderman: Can I be in The Avengers now? Captain America: Um sure. Spiderman: What should I do? Iron Man: You're in charge of web design.
@Mr_Kapowski: Him: This house is perfect for us! Her: What about the kids? Him: You're right. We'll have to put them up for adoption
@glenna_opt: we all had to sign a card for a coworker thats retiring and i just wrote "please take me with you" in it