@meganamram: We're in the exact point of climate change as when wile e. coyote runs off the cliff but hasn't looked down yet
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@NicCageMatch: The turkey is the luckiest one at the Thanksgiving table because it's already dead.
@That_Damn_Duck: If you feel like your parents didn't hug you enough as a child then it's probably because they didn't really want you. Good talk.
@HomeProbably: I've just text my new girlfriend that I'm into all sorts of douchebaggery. Autocorrect clearly has a different idea on what debauchery is.
@shanethevein: Don't you love followers that don't acknowledge your existence. Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world.