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@weinerdog4life: We're out of toilet paper, also don't pet the cat.
@Home_Halfway: "Let's do 5 sets of squats & then try lifting for an hour. It looks like you got out of shape after your dad died" ~ Really personal trainer
@GregorJFord: Never sell a golf club on Facebook to someone from East Kilbride!
@Tmoney68: If I could time-travel, forget killing baby Hitler. I'd go back to use every come back I ever thought of 10 minutes too late.
@Underchilde: All these fireworks and still my girlfriend has the shortest fuse.