@weinerdog4life: We're out of toilet paper, also don't pet the cat.
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@Versacheetos: Kim - Where is North West? Kanye - *takes out compass* Kim - I mean my baby! Kanye - I'm right here. Kim - Jesus Kanye! Kanye - Yeezus*
@therealeatwood: [Watching Amityville Horror remake from 2005] ME: Don’t buy it! Don’t buy that house! YOU IDIOTS! THE REAL ESTATE MARKET IS ABOUT TO CRASH!
@Fred_Delicious: "Hi yes I'd like to attempt the Cheeseburger challenge" "Very good sir" [ripped as hell cheeseburger runs out of the kitchen & bodyslams me]