@andylassner: Were there this many idiots before the Internet?
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@BeardSpice: My high school bully just made my McDouble, so I guess I won; but then again I am eating at McDonald's so I guess it's a tie.
@UncleDuke1969: "Here's Ted with the weather." "..." "I said... Here's Ted with the weather." "..." "Ted?" "THAT's what an unanswered text feels like, Sue."
@Malocallidus: someone asked : are you coming? me: No, but I'm breathing fast... them: me: them: me: I guess I'll save that one for Twitter
@JerseyRambo: My psychiatrist is mad at me, told him I could hear people but couldn't see them...he said when does this happen...I said over the phone