@andylassner: Were there this many idiots before the Internet?
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@tsm560: My ex-girlfriend is getting divorced from my ex-best friend and I didn't think it was possible to be this happy.
@Sassafrantz: [lays down] Me: Feels so good to close my eyes. Brain: We should think about a fire evacuation plan.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: The moral of Snow White is if a woman poisons you because you're prettier than her, find some men to chase her off a cliff while you sleep.