@donni: "Wetalian!" -Multiple Italians
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@NewDadNotes: Angel: so you named this screwdriver a flathead cause it's head is flat? God: yep Angel: What are you gonna call this other one? God: Phil
@runawaycupcake: Apparently just sitting here on my new lawn furniture drinking my Vodka & minding my business is disturbing to other Target guests.
@HousewifeOfHell: I swear, my kids will make me drive them to my own funeral. And then to the mall.