@garrydavenport: "We've been doing this for years, I simply can't be bothered thinking up another long scientific name. Drink?" - people who named the fly.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Jessdaisy: Being in your 40's is playing a constant game of, why does this hurt? Is the color of this ok? Where did this hair come from?
@KalvinMacleod: HER: I’m leaving you ME: Is it because I’m too literal? HER: no it's just we're not working out ME: *buys both of us a gym membership*
@DirtMcTurd: Just ate the last slice of pizza and I wish there was more. Suddenly all of Taylor Swifts songs make sense to me.
@Mr_Kapowski: 8 year old daughter: I wish I had been born a twin Me: You were a very hungry fetus- Wife: Ok that's enough time with Dad for today