@writerPT: We've got people working on world peace, and I'm here wondering how I can swipe a piece of my patient's chocolate without her noticing.
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@Playing_Dad: I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work
@kumailn: When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
@doktorj: Teach a man to fish and you'll have a lot more precious time to yourself in a quiet house with no one wanting something every 15 minutes.
@pleatedjeans: [sees kid crying in grocery store] hey little guy [kneels down to his level] Can you please move you're blocking the Cinnamon Toast Crunch?