@writerPT: We've got people working on world peace, and I'm here wondering how I can swipe a piece of my patient's chocolate without her noticing.
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@ljoywilliams: Seriously hackers, y'all gotta do better. I don't need leaks from HBO, I need my student loan balance reduced to $12
@Brentweets: I went to handshake someone and he basically just gripped my thumb and I'm never going to be popular
@PhuktUpScott: My neighbour was rushed to hospital today after a wasp landed on his face. It didn't sting him, luckily I got it first with my shovel.