@writerPT: We've got people working on world peace, and I'm here wondering how I can swipe a piece of my patient's chocolate without her noticing.
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@TheMichaelRock: Me: Hey lady, you can't park there. Her: I'm just running into Starbucks. Me: Oh shit, my bad. Laws don't apply to you then.
@OldUncleDaveO: I don't go back to my hometown very often because I've burned too many bridges. And also because I am wanted for bridge arson.
@jdforshort: 6 made coffee for me this morning, I'm now thinking that she can never move out of the house
@NakedHangover: If it's true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?