@RandiLawson: We've replaced the names of the foreign countries & leaders in Trump's speech with the names of IKEA® furniture. Let's see if he notices
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@LadyJanieGeek: Came downstairs to find my 85 year old mum watching the TV Me:" Why are you watching Thatcher's funeral?" Mum: "Just to make sure"
@meladoodle: Spoil any movie by telling ur friend “Ice Cube dies” before they watch it. They’ll be waiting for Ice Cube to appear and die the whole time
@closetoclassy: Based on the things my kid will and won't eat, my cooking is apparently worse than a stale Fruit Loop covered in dog hair.