@batkaren: We've secretly replaced Janet's coffee with melatonin capsules. Let's see if— okay yeah, she noticed. She looks pissed. Sleepy, but pissed…
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@PaperWash: [Oreo meeting] What about 'sextuple stuffed' "That's just inappropriate Jeff you're fired" [later googling Sextuple] "Omg that's genius"
@JohnHilsen: Oranges got their name from their orange juice-like flavor and orange juice-like color.
@tdug: My greatest fear is having a star athlete injure himself and having the coach look into the crowd and point at me to take his place