@batkaren: We've secretly replaced Janet's coffee with melatonin capsules. Let's see if— okay yeah, she noticed. She looks pissed. Sleepy, but pissed…
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@protolalia: "Sorry, that was my bad." "Your bad what?" "No. I'm just sayin': Sorry. My bad." "You're bad at completing an apologetic sentence?" "Yeah"
@stuckinaportal: "were u & mommy wrestling naked last night?" haha no honey ur mom & i were just playing *pulls wife aside* DID U TELL HER ABOUT FIGHT CLUB?