@batkaren: We've secretly replaced Janet's coffee with melatonin capsules. Let's see if— okay yeah, she noticed. She looks pissed. Sleepy, but pissed…
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shariv67: Surfing is a good choice for people who like skateboarding but wish it had more sharks.
@WheelTod: [Stick Insects Anonymous] Group Leader: "There's no easy way of saying this. But I believe one of you may be a plant."
@mompsychologist: 5yo and her friend just ended an argument by deciding they would "have a piece of cheese and calm down" So, yeah, she's mine.