@ewfeez: "We've traced the call. It's coming from INSIDE THE HORSE!"
-Trojan 911 dispatcher
@petemandik: Ugh, once again scratched my monocle falling asleep on my pile of gold coins.
@thestlouisan: It's like "society" expects you to wear "different clothes" every day.
@david8hughes: Wife: Why is there a bouncy castle in the garden?
Me out of breath with no shoes on: I'm not sure.
@PortRooster: Moon: Yo, Earth! Constant revolution?! Why so angry?
Earth: You just don't understand the gravity of the situation.
Sun: Oooh... Burn!!!
@sad_tree: [getting my picture taking with the sports team mascot]
"I know you're not really an armadillo"