@ewfeez: "We've traced the call. It's coming from INSIDE THE HORSE!"
-Trojan 911 dispatcher
@shkeeber: I'm not drunk. I'm a gravity inspector...
...and everything seems to be in order here.
*falls down/passes out*
@Quartzjixler: I hate when that happens.
She gets angry a lot
"He took me camping and left me in the middle of nowhere"
YOU SAID YOU LIKED SURVIVOR, KAREN
@HelloJessicaFox: A little about me: I’m a beekeeper. I see a bee, I keep it. I don’t care whose bee it is. Should have been watching it better.
@Robert_Beau: My sister thinks macadamia nuts is an STD.