@blahfamous: Whaaa? You taste brides? RT MatrooKiBijlee: Bridal tasting was a success! The only thing I regret is not taking pictures. But still...."
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@Social_Mime: Wife - You ate all of the Reeses eggs? Me - You left them out in the open on the top shelf under the shirts in the back of the closet.
@illuminatedwndr: I think global warming is real because you hardly see The Penguin on episodes of Batman anymore
@HiddleDeeDee: I accidentally flushed a public toilet with my hand instead of my foot. I may be dying now.