@TheTweetOfGod: What a tense, tense day 4/19 was. Maybe tomorrow, somehow, will be a little mellower.
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@juliussharpe: A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire.
@fro_vo: [first date] Me: so what do you do Date: i'm a veterinarian Me: thank you for your service Date: veterinarian not veteran Me: ok but still
@JaySaysStuff: Hot single dads in your area AREN'T WORKING 60 HOURS A WEEK FOR YOU TO AIR CONDITION THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD SHUT THE GODDAMN DOOR.
@Pork_Chop_Hair: Him: Don't get your panties in a bunch. Me: It's called a bulk pack, Todd. That's how Costco sells them.