@hellohappy_time: What about a haunted doll that reminds you to take your birth control
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TravLeBlanc: I'm a lover, not a fighter. So if anyone is giving you trouble and you need me to have sex with them, I'm your man.
@llvvzz: Literally nothing has had less of an impact towards changing my life than that inspirational quote you posted on social media.
@mattZillaaaa: I just sent a screen shot of my drunken tweets to my friends & they are still asking if I can come pick them up
@KeetPotato: cop: [making list of animals that escaped] zookeeper: "the tigers should be your top priority" cop: [scribbling out ducks] "obviously"