@hellohappy_time: What about a haunted doll that reminds you to take your birth control
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@crabgirl_: The people in this spin class are looking at me like they've never seen a girl with a helmet before.
@dafloydsta: [counseling] She gets angry a lot "He took me camping and left me in the middle of nowhere" YOU SAID YOU LIKED SURVIVOR, KAREN
@DanteEvilCat: Silence is golden! Unless you have a toddler, then silence is very, very suspicious.