@seandunn76: "What about this? What about this? And this?"--me, taunting museum curator MC Hammer.
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@CptBombs75: Just got out of the shower and lotioned up Unfortunately I'm not a chick so this won't get 624 faves
@QwertyJones3: [interview for an accounting job] Your resumé says your greatest strength is using idioms. How can that help in this job? "You do the math"
@RowdyBowden: "Pardon me. Might I murder you with my musket? Yes? Excellent news, kind sir!" - The Very Civil War