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@shanethevein: What am I gonna do with a river?
Could you cry me a beer?
@Albert30960851: If she wants to be chased, she better steal my pizza or something
@tacsanitchiban: Whenever someone says "let's get weird" my first thought is "I'm already there"
@Ivsy01: Him: Favorite workout? Me: Pilates. Him: Why? Me: Because we lay down for an hour.
@shariv67: I sleep with a knife under my pillow. You never know when someone is going to break in and give you a cake.
@i_wasnt_looking: Google needs a "you really don't want to know" search answer.