@wesjohnson8: "What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?" Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Twtercide: I will not think of sex at church I will not think of sex at church I will not. Priest: Which leads us to his Second Coming Me: Goddammit!
@Vodkantots: Get your therapist to start taking you seriously by pulling a donut out of your purse.
@peachesanscream: You've seen nothing until you've seen a picture of a pigeon having a job interview to become a pigeon: