@SnizzleFrizzle: What an adorable idea. My coworkers have been writing names on food in the office fridge. I am currently eating a yogurt called Debbie.
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@Pink: There's a woman at breakfast with a mink purse. I guess it's important to skin an animal alive to keep your credit cards warm... Idiot
@AristotlesNZ: I gave my 1yo a chocolate covered raisin. He chewed, paused, then gave me a look that told me he will never trust another human being again.
@audipenny: I looked at a shelf once online and now every ad is like "SO YOU LIKE SHELVES??????" and everywhere i go i think a shelf is following me
@NicestHippo: [Crate and Barrel job interview] "So why do you want to work here?" DONKEY KONG [sweating]: I love interior design