@jwoodham: What animal do I respect most? The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.
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@bambimygirl: I hate when people say “Act like an adult” Have you seen adults lately? That’s horrible advice.
@DumbConfessions: Had sex in a kiddie pool full of jam once. *pops jean jacket collar* I got marmalaid.
@ValeeGrrl: Me: [sneaks off to lay by pool cuz kids are finally playing] 7yo: HERE I AM MOMMY SO YOU DON'T HAFTA BE ALONE Me: [sigh] Thanks bud.