@jwoodham: What animal do I respect most? The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.
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@UberFacts: A mentally ill man shot himself in the head as a suicide attempt. The bullet cured his disorder and he became a straight-A college student.
@hammbone84: If you guys don't start appreciating my tweets, I will introduce my mom to Twitter. Don't make me ruin this for everyone.