@ScottLinnen: WHAT are birds so happy about at 7am? What? Oh, right. Pooping while airborne. Good one.
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@GetCougarized: Whenever a guy boasts he has a party in his pants, I always ask him to prove it. If he's not packin nachos, beer and M&Ms, I'm going home.
@meganamram: Sometimes I sit on my hand till it's numb so it feels like someone else is googling my name