@causticbob: what day is it?
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@yayraptor: ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking please keep your seatbelt on as we--OH MY GOD [plane flies into a giant baby mouth]
@jazmasta: *Adobe update puts on fake moustache and glasses* Hi, my name is iOS 7, would you like to download updates?
@johngaysee: My dog and I have two things in common: We like burying our bones in other peoples backyards and fleas :-(
@SwedishCanary: If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you're on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.