@causticbob: what day is it?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@myles_morrison: Two men came to the door asking if I'd found Jesus. I said "Hell no. I don't want to have to spend my weekends bothering people at home."
@HatfieldAnne: Waving my hand impatiently in front of the automatic door sensor so everyone knows I am too important to wait for electricity.
@heymonroe: That moment of panic when you accidentally swipe left on Bae while getting food off your phone.