@omgthatspunny: What did Dr. Dre say when 50 Cent gave him a sweater? Gee, you knit?
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@Kyle_Lippert: Fun fact: the person who said "If you love something let it go" died alone, surrounded by 342 cats.
@mistakentweets: Texting...because men didn't have a hard enough time understanding women before so we had to take away the ability to convey tone.
@BoogTweets: Dad: People overcome adversity all the time. Look at Beethoven. They told him he was deaf, but did he listen? Me: *never blinks again*
@GensPlace: Online dating has its good points. You can choose your own name, lie through your teeth and you can't smell their breath.