@IamEnidColeslaw: what did I do this weekend? saw 50 Shades Darker & coughed through the whole movie on purpose
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@iwearaonesie: wife: You're going to work like that? me: Yeah, it's casual day [20 minutes later] *calls wife* me: Can you bring me a shirt?
@WilliamAder: Do people really expect to have a satisfying experience on a website that ends with ".gov"?
@JimmySelfDest: Mother in law found me... On the twitter This will be converted into a pineapple upside down cake blog for the next 72 hours. I'm so sorry