@IamEnidColeslaw: what did I do this weekend? saw 50 Shades Darker & coughed through the whole movie on purpose
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@WilliamAder: The only wisdom that comes with age is knowing which stores have the nicer restrooms.
@just1fool: The trick to a good AVI is finding your best characteristic and flaunting it. I obviously am a fan of my nostrils.
@deardilettante: [hits you in the face with newspaper] "Sorry, I thought your eyebrows were caterpillars."
@ericsshadow: If your girlfriend says she's going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall... You might be dating my wife.