@TheTweetOfGod: What do Me, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny have in common? You guessed it: we're all white.
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@WilliamAder: I remember my first time at a mic. "Cleanup on aisle 5" & "Price check-Advil" were two early bits that really seemed to resonate with folks.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: The Teen Choice Awards air tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren't allowed to vote.
@AnOrangeSNES: All I wanna do is [gun shot noise] [cash register noise] [organ noise] [saxophone noise] [cow noise] [cat noise] Fix this broken synthesizer