@omgthatspunny: what do you call a fish with no eyes?? fsh
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@TheCatWhisprer: My favorite thing about all the people waiting in line for the new iPhones is for those hours the rest of the world is a better place.
@WilliamAder: It's just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.
@mishakey: You know those disgusting people who lick their fingers instead of using a napkin in public? Hi.
@SteveAmiri: Fifty Shades of Grey was disappointing. All those blindfolds and not a single person swung at a piñata.