@ExcuseThePuns_: What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.
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@MrsGoose69: Me: Where the hell are you going with those balloons? 4yr: I need to wee! Me: With balloons?! 4yr: Its so much fun to wee with balloons
@radtoria: amazing how folks can pinpoint the subtle floral undertones in a glass of wine while i'm like "yo, is there mustard on this grilled cheese?"
@Writethatdown12: I bet the worst thing about being abducted is the whole country knows your real weight.