@RaccoonPun: What do you call someone with no body and a nose? Nobody knows.
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@dyldonot: *ball flies past 15 love -aw thanks *ball flies past 30 love -too kind *ball flies past 40 love -you too babe Have you played tennis before?
@jazmasta: "Ugh! Dave is coming to dinner" "Wait, Dave Jones or Dave who impersonates police cars?" [long silence] [hears faint sirens in the distance]
@CodyJP9412: [Petco] INTERVIEWER: We're looking for a real cat person. ME: *slowly pushes paperwork off desk* INTERVIEWER: holy shit