@Elizasoul80: What do you get if you cross a bear and a wolf? You get eaten is what you get. Stop upsetting scary animals.
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@xLiserx: *Batman happily approaches Batmobile* Wife: Forget it, Bruce! We have two car seats & need to go to Costco. *Defeatedly gets in Batvan*
@OhHiAlyPie: "I just really need a good man to fill the hole" *100 men come running up "In my heart." *100 men run away
@CulturedRuffian: Chef 1: You can't serve cake for breakfast, moms won't allow it. Chef 2: What if we fry it in a pan & pour syrup all over it? 1: GENIUS!
@GoldenSpirals: A truck just flipped a dead squirrel onto my windshield and it's stuck in my wiper. I guess I don't have to stop to get supper tonight.