@SleazySli: What do you get when you cross a Centaur with a Minotaur? Cinnaminotaur. The most delicious of all mythological creatures.
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@causticbob: What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team? The guy would survive the first round.
@TheTimmyToes: me: how much per hour? babysitter: $15 me: okay here's $2.37 million see you in 18 years
@sistersurf: I just read someone's TL who starred me, forgot who I was reading, starred & RT'd a gazillion RT's on their TL, ended up in Mexico married.
@radtoria: if you tell your guests your house was just broken into and fake cry they will clean it for free