@MourningGlory_: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T LIST THOR AS AN EMERGENCY BACKUP?!?!
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@HiddleDeeDee: Eight hours into this family road trip I realized my lifelong vow to avoid illegal drugs was stupid.
@ThisOneSayz: Easter egg hunts are fun but, some kids always get their eggs stolen by others. Also, I'm not allowed on the field this year.
@Flattliner: My daughter's been seeing someone called Jim. Only for an hour each time, always in sports gear and often sweaty afterwards. I don't approve
@markedly: HER: I've never known someone to google things during sex ME: we learned a lot though HER: you screamed "ostriches are faster than horses"