@causticbob: What does a corpse and snow have in common? They are both cold and are hilarious to throw at unsuspecting children.
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@Frankie_Val: Gay men aren't fags. Guys who do 70mph, on a suburban side street, in their second-rate sports cars are fags.
@Vodkantots: When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, "no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."
@FuckabillyRex: Gave a lady on the bus my seat and then sang Coldplay's Yellow to her and it was so emotional she had to get off at the next stop. ❤