@Naked_Superman: What does it mean when you sit next to an elderly woman on the bus and she shakes her head and makes the sign of the cross?
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@figgled: Things Women Over 30 Should Never Wear 1. exploding glove 2. ham sandwich 3. flaming fireplace 4. Dead bird helmet 6. shark eggs
@Home_Halfway: WINNIE THE POOH: There's a rumbly in my tumbly ME: Use regular words you half naked glutton
@tararose711: Pro tip: never tell a three-year-old that you're going to Disney unless you plan on leaving that very second.
@chrisanna4real: Twitter is like a soap opera for some of you. I'd like to be the one who sneaks into the hospital and unplugs your life support.