@badbanana: What does stormtrooper armor protect against, exactly? Knives?
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@AnkCoupleTO: [holding hands] Her: I think I love you Me: WHAT? Her: Did I say something wrong? Me: *running away with only one arm attached* not at all
@be_yourownhero: 10:00 am: sitting alone at work 10:05 am: my pudding cup is my new best friend 10:06 am: ate my best friend 10:07 am: sitting at work alone
@mattsurely: Me: What do you call sex in December? Wife: Don't say it. Me: ... W: ... Me: Wintercourse. W: (to judge) See this is why I need a divorce.