@TheTweetOfGod: "What does the fox say?" Whatever the Rupert Murdoch tells it to.
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@therealeatwood: I’m usually more of a Samantha but sometimes I am such a Carrie, like when a bucket of blood got dumped on my head at prom
@NJPsychDoc: My neighbor introduced his wife to me as his better half. I returned the courtesy by introducing my wife to him as the lesser of two evils.
@WilliamRodgers: How to get a job on Game of Thrones: Q: Can you act? A: Sorta Q: Will you get naked? A: Yes HIRED!