@TheTweetOfGod: "What does the fox say?" Whatever the Rupert Murdoch tells it to.
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@dubiousrhetoric: People: why do dogs bark at the mail man every single day Dogs: the mailman has literally never gotten in how do you not see what I'm doing
@MaryKoCo: If you put dry teabags in shoes they absorb the odor. So your shoes smell good but the tea tastes so bad it's almost not worth it
@Dutch_50: I'll bet the first ever drive thru window resulted in an incredible amount of broken glass.
@Mr_Kapowski: My wife and I have an agreement with our 7 year old daughter Don't wake us up early on the weekend and we won't abandon you in a mall