@causticbob: A router goes into a doctor's office and says, "It hurts when IP."

@AnOrangeSNES: Odin is a king, Thor got his gender switched to a woman, Disney owns Marvel. So Thor is....A DISNEY PRINCESS KINDA!

@leahlovescheez: My gynecologist recognized me at the grocery store, so I guess I need to start wearing longer skirts.

@68Cly29: I have two dogs. One named Rolex and one named Timex. They're watchdogs.

@Brentweets: Chipotle has been hacked for an hour and hasn't noticed... Taylor Swift was hacked and wrote an album about it 30 seconds after.