@stockejock: What doesn't kill a grammar nazi makes me wronger.
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@AndyAsAdjective: COWORKER: big weekend plans? ME: fulfilling the blood prophecy…you? CW: what? M: what? CW: did you say- M: neighborhood barbecue, yes
@P1ssed_K1d: I took my family out to an authentic Vietnamese place. My wife and I had pho. The kids sewed Nikes for 14 hours and were beaten. Great pho.
@LindaInDisguise: Me: Can I dip my breadstick in your Alfredo sauce? Him: Usually it's me asking you that. 13YO: SHUT UP. STOP IT RIGHT NOW!