@shayf_: What doesn't kill me makes me smaller - Mario
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@joshgondelman: I refused to ask a guy with a Blackberry what time it was because he doesn't even know what year it is.
@juliussharpe: Forgot we bought a Christmas tree. Woke up at 2 a.m., went to pee, thought it was a guy and almost called the cops on it.
@ArfMeasures: [prehistoric times] MUM: When you get married, your husband will be the hunter DAUGHTER: So I gather