@Traceylei2: What doesn't kill you isn't earning the money I paid.
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@bananagrvyrd: So apparently you're supposed to change the lint filter in the dryer more than once a year firemen are hot
@NYC_Blonde: Why do cars slow down when they see a cop has pulled someone over? HE'S A LITTLE BUSY TO WORRY ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW DUMMIES
@sweetandweak: Daughter just asked me how to spell bourbon so she's either asking Santa to hook up her old man or writing a letter to child services.
@GensPlace: Trying to explain to H that when the doctor said he can have one red wine a day, he didn't mean bottle.