@Traceylei2: What doesn't kill you isn't earning the money I paid.
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@AimeeHelene1: Warning to friends: If you piss me off I'll put a for sale sign in my yard and list your phone number to call for inquiries.
@TheToxicWaster: My wife said she wants a divorce for valentines day. I wasn't planning to spend that much..
@mjkspeaks: [on phone with attorney] HIM: you're being charged for murder. ME: damn that sounds expensive i guess you can just put it on my Amex