@Aspersioncast: What doesn't kill you leaves you feeling rejected and wondering why you weren't good enough for death.
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@Reverend_Scott: Dog Mechanic: The repair is gonna take longer than expected. "Why's that?" Dog Mechanic: The clutch is worn out, also because I am a dog.
@AndyKindler: "I heard you were responsible for like 30 million deaths. That's crazy." Jimmy Fallon interviewing Stalin
@NikkiNeverAgain: Was told I can't use Wi-Fi at McDonald's unless I eat. So I am bringing a peanut butter sandwich.