@Aspersioncast: What doesn't kill you leaves you feeling rejected and wondering why you weren't good enough for death.
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@Tommytoughstuff: [Olympic Swimming] CANADIAN ANNOUNCER: I feel bad for the water look how hard they're kicking it.
@BradBroaddus: I've found that nowadays most people don't like holding hands in public. Especially if you don't know them.
@sucittaM: My wife thinks I'm stupid for using Twitter so much. But I think she's stupid for marrying me, so I think we all know who won this argument.
@NicCageMatch: My dog is starting a food blog where she writes about the delicious flavors of the various paper napkins she finds and eats.