@Aspersioncast: What doesn't kill you leaves you feeling rejected and wondering why you weren't good enough for death.
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@Carbosly: Apparently, saying "make it a double" followed by an awkward wink doesn't work at the pharmacy.
@Reverend_Scott: [Apple meeting] We need an honest iPhone 6 slogan. "How about, iPhone 6: Yesterday's technology at tomorrow's prices." Too honest, Carl.
@Slygirl08: *Really attractive person waves at me in their car*-*I wave back enthusiastically*-*realizes they were just putting their visor down*