@blatchfordnews: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except bears, bears will kill you.
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@tomipuff: I would like a warm hound please "Excuse me?" A flaming puppy "..." Fire canine "Do you want a hot dog, ma'am?" Yes. A scorching pooch
@droidbears: [caught hiding something in the garbage] gf: are you eating hot wings again? me: no gf: oh really, then touch your eyes me: god damnit
@mattgallo123: Oh dear... I should get out of the way, he's probably trying to catch a bad guy. -me getting pulled over
@lovemydogduck: Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger & I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner.