@JamesHavoc: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you.
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@WhaJoTalkinBout: I had to call some kid's mom last night to tell her he's selling pot, and that it's waaay overpriced.
@LHGarrett: PHIL COLLINS: Here tonight is the man who inspired my next song, "Fat Shithead Clogged My Toilet." [spotlight tracks me as I head for Exit]
@Shen_the_Bird: Her: what's this writing on your hand? Me: I was cheating on an exam Her: it just says "hand" Me: yeah it was an anatomy exam