@Nomyzie: What doesn't kill you, tries again.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DurtMcHurtt: [meeting girlfriend at the park] Her: Surprise! I made us a picnic! Me: *unfolding emergency bib from wallet* Holy shit let's do this.
@OddMarc: If you don't walk sideways chanting 'crab people' when holding tongs, we can't be friends.
@Swishergirl24: This guy on GMA is thanking God b/c he survived 2 plane crashes. I'm pretty sure "God" is trying to kill him.
@YourTumblrFeed: Psychic: reads my mind My mind: waelcome to my kitchennnnnn…. We have bananis…… And avocadi