@missmayn: What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods? Teenagers these days be all “I hate you mom I’m joining ISIS.”
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@djdarrellripley: Her: You know, I hear a lot of guys are celebrating St. Patrick's Day this year with a quiet dinner at home. Me: Yea, the nursing home...
@PopSlapFunk: Lucy plans elaborate jewel heist. Lucy dons cat burglar suit to conceal identity. Lucy pulls off heist. Lucy in disguise with diamonds.
@Quartzjixler: I was late so I shoved a whole taco into my mouth. It was a sight to behold based on the facial expression of the lady in the adjacent car.