@missmayn: What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods? Teenagers these days be all “I hate you mom I’m joining ISIS.”
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@houffy: *i get home riding a pig* Wife: Hey honey, how was the "Hog Riders" meeting? Me: *sighs* Pointless...this one was for motorcycles too.
@RatBatallion: If you're having a bad day , just remember ... All of you are funnier than Dane Cook .
@julie2288: I told my dog 6,000 times, she could go out but I wasn't going to sit outside with her... Long story short, I'm sitting outside with her.
@DiamondGirl127: "Iowa man arrested after fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" - I'm just gonna assume this is 1 of you guys