@Awkward_Fun: What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises.
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@DrewsThatDude: just remember before you let yourself get riled up over The Grammys.. Who Let The Dogs Out won a grammy
@ArchiePeeler: Giving our 3-yr-old son the big news... Wife: We're having a baby! Son: Keep it in there. Me: Well, we can't -- Son: Keep. It. In.
@MarfSalvador: mob boss: rip his fingernails off henchman: they're bitten really short mob boss: then do his toenails! henchman: [removing my socks] you're not gonna believe this
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Had to be a woman that coined the phrase "severance package." No guy is putting those two words so close to each other.