@Awkward_Fun: What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises.
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@daniel_shaw: Personal trainer said we're going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese. He hates me.
@iwearaonesie: [Jurassic Park] kid: What do you call a blind dinosaur? me: What? kid: Do-you-think-he-saurus me *pushes him out of the tree*
@HairyJew4Life: Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?